Tomorrow.

I just realized that I am always waiting for tomorrow:
*"Tomorrow my food stamps kick in!"
*"Tomorrow I'll start exercising regularly"
*"Starting tomorrow, I'll wash my face every day"
*"Tomorrow I'll find out what I need to do to get back in school"
*"I'll finish that project tomorrow"

This attitude of discontentment and procrastination has played out, naturally, in motherhood:
*"I promise tomorrow we'll [insert broken promise here--'play the cherry game', 'make cookies', 'bring out the paints', 'go to the park', etc.]"
*"Tomorrow I will try harder not to lose my temper"
*"Tomorrow we'll work on potty training"
*"I'll pay more attention to Juby tomorrow"

I'm so sad about this revelation. I feel like I have spent the last 4 years in Tomorrowland, and what have I gained? Mostly disappointment, late fees, wasted oppertunities, and regret. Somehow, in spite of the fact that this day is already half-over, I am willing myself to get the hell out of the land of "some day." Tomorrow may never come. Today is still here. Oh Jesus, help me make the most of all this breathing!
Today I'll wash my face.
Today I'll spend at least an hour just reveling in the presence of my vibrant little miracle children.
Today, we paint.
Today, I'll make at least one thing, start to finish.
Today, I'll call my mom.
Today I'll return our library books.
And that's all I'm going to put on my plate for now.