Oh, my weeping heart. Try as I might, I cannot escape the aching and emptiness that is brought on by the death of a loved one. Goodbye and goodnight, Grampa Ron. See you on the other side. :'(
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Show me a day when the world wasn't new...
Homeschooling adventures update
week 2: EPIC FAIL
week3 (this week): a little better.
*chutes and ladders again, except we used addition to determine the number of spaces to go instead of a spinner
* "Your baby can read" flash cards and wipe-off books
*Trying out a '50 states' poster, discussing U.S. geography in toddler terms
*Trying out milk-paints idea from http://www.modernparentsmessykids.com/, a sight which I am adoring right now. You should check it out!
*I'm one email closer to enrolling MK in the Columbia Virtual Academy program. Pretty much just a bunch of paperwork left to shuffle.
Things that are awesome about life today:
*My husband and kids are alive and well.
*My craft area is finally starting to take shape and become a functional space for creating.
* It's still warm outside!
*I have lately been filled with gratitude for the wealth of relationships I have surrounding me. Thinking about all the friends I have is like looking in a treasure chest of priceless gems. I am blessed beyond a reasonable measure and I feel loved.
Things that suck about life today:
*My best friend is moving to Texas this Saturday.
*Another grandpa is dying of cancer.
*I weigh as much as I did before I started training for a half-marathon. That is sad.
Something is in the air. Can't put my finger on it, but there are new things on the horizon, just out of view but definitely on the radar.I seriously can feel "winds of change". That sounds so corny, but it's accurate. I'm looking forward to a new chapter...
If you read my blog, I love you.
-B
week 2: EPIC FAIL
week3 (this week): a little better.
*chutes and ladders again, except we used addition to determine the number of spaces to go instead of a spinner
* "Your baby can read" flash cards and wipe-off books
*Trying out a '50 states' poster, discussing U.S. geography in toddler terms
*Trying out milk-paints idea from http://www.modernparentsmessykids.com/, a sight which I am adoring right now. You should check it out!
*I'm one email closer to enrolling MK in the Columbia Virtual Academy program. Pretty much just a bunch of paperwork left to shuffle.
Things that are awesome about life today:
*My husband and kids are alive and well.
*My craft area is finally starting to take shape and become a functional space for creating.
* It's still warm outside!
*I have lately been filled with gratitude for the wealth of relationships I have surrounding me. Thinking about all the friends I have is like looking in a treasure chest of priceless gems. I am blessed beyond a reasonable measure and I feel loved.
Things that suck about life today:
*My best friend is moving to Texas this Saturday.
*Another grandpa is dying of cancer.
*I weigh as much as I did before I started training for a half-marathon. That is sad.
Something is in the air. Can't put my finger on it, but there are new things on the horizon, just out of view but definitely on the radar.I seriously can feel "winds of change". That sounds so corny, but it's accurate. I'm looking forward to a new chapter...
If you read my blog, I love you.
-B
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Columbia Virtual Academy, for the win!
Friends, I do believe I have discovered the answer to most, if not all of the questions/comments/concerns I have regarding homeschooling: Columbia Virtual Academy.
The short version of this revelatory discovery is this: CVA is basically a state-funded "alternative learning experience".
I could try to wax eloquently about the overload of information that my eyes have taken in over the last few hours of scanning handbooks and FAQs and reviews, but I'm a little sleepy. So instead, I will just add a link to their page, and tell you that I am MAJORLY OVERJOYED AND EXCITED AND RELIEVED to jump in on this and see if it works for us :) .
So far I have taken the first step of submitting a request for an education counselor to call me back in a few days. In the meantime, flash cards, anyone?
Goodnite!
http://www.columbiavirtualacademy.org/
The short version of this revelatory discovery is this: CVA is basically a state-funded "alternative learning experience".
I could try to wax eloquently about the overload of information that my eyes have taken in over the last few hours of scanning handbooks and FAQs and reviews, but I'm a little sleepy. So instead, I will just add a link to their page, and tell you that I am MAJORLY OVERJOYED AND EXCITED AND RELIEVED to jump in on this and see if it works for us :) .
So far I have taken the first step of submitting a request for an education counselor to call me back in a few days. In the meantime, flash cards, anyone?
Goodnite!
http://www.columbiavirtualacademy.org/
Week 2: sinus cold-1, homeschool 0
Okay, I know it's only Monday, err--Tuesday. But I'm not feeling nearly as potentially productive as I was last week. And that, unfortunately, is saying a lot. The good news is, in spite of feeling like my head was probably going to explode in a geiser of goo, 1.) I got Juby to her first ballet class on time (BARELY) 2.) Makayla is already starting to spell words on her own. Yeay! Wish me luck, or prayers, or learning, or something other than cartoons. Oy...
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Breadstick crumbs in my lipgloss.
Today was interesting.
We had a rough start: Jubilee woke up at about 5:15am barfing chunks all over herself and her bedding. Justin heard her first, so he was already trying to comfort her when I stumbled through to help put her in the bath, wad up the nasty blankets, etc. Justin lovingly offered to take a family sick day to help me out in case the puking continued, as it usually does with our girls. Not to mention by the time the ordeal was done, it was about 5:40, and J is normally walking out the door by 5:45, but this morning he was covered in yesterday's dinner. Well, God must have looked down upon my already-pitiful cycle this week of potty training (more "potty" than training), because she ended up recovering quickly. She fell back to sleep on my lap, and I was also able to catch a wink or two.
After all that, J and I switched roles for the afternoon-him on kid duty and me out running errands and gettin ish done. Dropped off a load of crap at Goodwill, returned some things we hastily purchased the other day but didn't need, picked up some more school supplies, laundry soap and dryer sheets, groceries, full tank of gas, the rest of Juby's ballet accessories. It was so glorious to just be out n' about in the full sunshine, reminding myself to walk a little slower through the isles, take pictures in my mind's eye of the concrete jungle bathed in a golden glow.
I went to Target for a majority of my toiletries and whatnots. By the time I got there, I realized quite suddenly that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and the coffee I was feverishly sipping just wasn't doing the trick. I really didn't wan't to eat at Target; why eat in a food court, Bea, when today and today only, you are a carefree young woman in a summer dress, just galavanting all over town, and you could legitimately choose from any of the number of the trendy coffee/sandwich shops that the city has to offer, stroller not included? Well, because it's 3:30pm, the last time you ate was 8:30am, it's 85 degrees in the shade, and those personal pizzas are calling your name. I caved and bought the "pizza combo": it consists of a small pizza, a serving of breadsticks, and a drink. The pizza would have been plenty on it's own, but I'd already committed to the thing, so there I sat in the center of the Target fast food area, chomping down on a delicious personal pan-sized cheese pizza and crumbly but equally delicious breadsticks.
I was facing the entrance doors, so of course I commenced the peoplewatching.
And this is truly what I want to highlight about today: the gift God gave me today of having compassion again on my fellow humans.
I have always been sensitive and emotionally in tune with other people. For a long time it felt like a weakness. I would literally get all weepy about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G at any given situation. Homeless kittens. Homeless kids. Sappy commercials. Violence. The general passage of time. Sometimes it was problematic, but as I got to know Jesus and His character, I would try to channel all that feeling into a productive prayer life, whatever that means. But after I went through a horribly unhealthy relationship in college, it was like a switch was flipped. I could not feel. I could not care. Even after that relationship ended, I was devastated by this emotional disconnect, but there wasn't anything I could do to remedy it. Over time, God healed whatever issues were causing this weird apathy, but it's never been the same. I find now that my level of concern and consideration for other people and the vast intricacies of humanity wavers back and forth for long seasons. All of that, to say that I am always so pleasantly surprised when I sense the familiar swelling of compassion in my soul, toward others.
It was so beautiful: witnessing the real-time orchestra of creatures who bear the image of God, each one holding out their notes in a delightfully disorganized cacaphony of moments. Tall people, short people, skinny people, fat people, kids, older folks, so many shades of skin. The pretty blonde mommy pushing her strawberry-haired and freckled little girl along. A college-aged couple sauntering through the doors, toting handmade ethnic satchels and keeping time with each other's steps. The middle-aged looking dude with a salty ponytail and t-shirt commemorating the 13th anniversary of something I could not decipher from where I sat. He grabbed a bag of Bugel chips from the $1 section.
The more I beheld all the faces and let my head become filled with wonder and amazement at each life, the more I could feel this longing to know each person. I imagined where they were going and where they were coming from. My heart beat a little faster.
I started to think about how confined we are, even in a crowd of people in a big department store. What if I just wandered over to the table of ladies a mere 4 feet from where I sat, and asked if they wanted a breadstick? Or if I had just casually invited some passerby to sit in one of the three empty seats at my table? What if someone detonated a bomb at the cash register and we were all suddenly brothers and sisters escaping falling bricks and flames? Does anyone else get to thinking this way?
As crazy as it probably looks and sounds at the time, I am so thankful for these gifts of loving people, of quietly wiping away tears while I browse the clearance sections and utter conversational prayers under my breath. I'm grateful that today, Target gave me more than just a small pizza and cheap laundry soap: there I also was able to find the time to think again. It's so much easier to storm through our world with brows furrowed and hearts filled with pain. To breath slowly, to catch eyes with a stranger and linger longer than just a glimpse, to put your feet in their shoes without asking what it will cost: these are the disciplines of selflessness that I always wrestle with. Today, praise God, was a small victory.
We had a rough start: Jubilee woke up at about 5:15am barfing chunks all over herself and her bedding. Justin heard her first, so he was already trying to comfort her when I stumbled through to help put her in the bath, wad up the nasty blankets, etc. Justin lovingly offered to take a family sick day to help me out in case the puking continued, as it usually does with our girls. Not to mention by the time the ordeal was done, it was about 5:40, and J is normally walking out the door by 5:45, but this morning he was covered in yesterday's dinner. Well, God must have looked down upon my already-pitiful cycle this week of potty training (more "potty" than training), because she ended up recovering quickly. She fell back to sleep on my lap, and I was also able to catch a wink or two.
After all that, J and I switched roles for the afternoon-him on kid duty and me out running errands and gettin ish done. Dropped off a load of crap at Goodwill, returned some things we hastily purchased the other day but didn't need, picked up some more school supplies, laundry soap and dryer sheets, groceries, full tank of gas, the rest of Juby's ballet accessories. It was so glorious to just be out n' about in the full sunshine, reminding myself to walk a little slower through the isles, take pictures in my mind's eye of the concrete jungle bathed in a golden glow.
I went to Target for a majority of my toiletries and whatnots. By the time I got there, I realized quite suddenly that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and the coffee I was feverishly sipping just wasn't doing the trick. I really didn't wan't to eat at Target; why eat in a food court, Bea, when today and today only, you are a carefree young woman in a summer dress, just galavanting all over town, and you could legitimately choose from any of the number of the trendy coffee/sandwich shops that the city has to offer, stroller not included? Well, because it's 3:30pm, the last time you ate was 8:30am, it's 85 degrees in the shade, and those personal pizzas are calling your name. I caved and bought the "pizza combo": it consists of a small pizza, a serving of breadsticks, and a drink. The pizza would have been plenty on it's own, but I'd already committed to the thing, so there I sat in the center of the Target fast food area, chomping down on a delicious personal pan-sized cheese pizza and crumbly but equally delicious breadsticks.
I was facing the entrance doors, so of course I commenced the peoplewatching.
And this is truly what I want to highlight about today: the gift God gave me today of having compassion again on my fellow humans.
I have always been sensitive and emotionally in tune with other people. For a long time it felt like a weakness. I would literally get all weepy about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G at any given situation. Homeless kittens. Homeless kids. Sappy commercials. Violence. The general passage of time. Sometimes it was problematic, but as I got to know Jesus and His character, I would try to channel all that feeling into a productive prayer life, whatever that means. But after I went through a horribly unhealthy relationship in college, it was like a switch was flipped. I could not feel. I could not care. Even after that relationship ended, I was devastated by this emotional disconnect, but there wasn't anything I could do to remedy it. Over time, God healed whatever issues were causing this weird apathy, but it's never been the same. I find now that my level of concern and consideration for other people and the vast intricacies of humanity wavers back and forth for long seasons. All of that, to say that I am always so pleasantly surprised when I sense the familiar swelling of compassion in my soul, toward others.
It was so beautiful: witnessing the real-time orchestra of creatures who bear the image of God, each one holding out their notes in a delightfully disorganized cacaphony of moments. Tall people, short people, skinny people, fat people, kids, older folks, so many shades of skin. The pretty blonde mommy pushing her strawberry-haired and freckled little girl along. A college-aged couple sauntering through the doors, toting handmade ethnic satchels and keeping time with each other's steps. The middle-aged looking dude with a salty ponytail and t-shirt commemorating the 13th anniversary of something I could not decipher from where I sat. He grabbed a bag of Bugel chips from the $1 section.
The more I beheld all the faces and let my head become filled with wonder and amazement at each life, the more I could feel this longing to know each person. I imagined where they were going and where they were coming from. My heart beat a little faster.
I started to think about how confined we are, even in a crowd of people in a big department store. What if I just wandered over to the table of ladies a mere 4 feet from where I sat, and asked if they wanted a breadstick? Or if I had just casually invited some passerby to sit in one of the three empty seats at my table? What if someone detonated a bomb at the cash register and we were all suddenly brothers and sisters escaping falling bricks and flames? Does anyone else get to thinking this way?
As crazy as it probably looks and sounds at the time, I am so thankful for these gifts of loving people, of quietly wiping away tears while I browse the clearance sections and utter conversational prayers under my breath. I'm grateful that today, Target gave me more than just a small pizza and cheap laundry soap: there I also was able to find the time to think again. It's so much easier to storm through our world with brows furrowed and hearts filled with pain. To breath slowly, to catch eyes with a stranger and linger longer than just a glimpse, to put your feet in their shoes without asking what it will cost: these are the disciplines of selflessness that I always wrestle with. Today, praise God, was a small victory.
Friday, September 9, 2011
How am I doin' so far?
*Insert nervous laughter*
Homeschool adventures...
This was week one:
Homeschool adventures...
- Yes, I have chosen to homeschool my daughters, one jam-packed, learn-as-i-go year at a time.
- No, I don't have some fanatical, psycho-conservative plan to shelter my kids and brainwash them into little Jesus clones who take over the world with their highwater pants and strangely isolated senses of humor.
- No, I won't judge you if you are a stay-at-home mom who sends your kids to private or public school.
- No, I won't judge you if you are a working mom who sends your kids to private or public school. You just do you, boo. I'm doing what I think and hope and pray is right for us, and I seriously haven't the time, skills, or credibility to judge anybody else's lifestyle.
- Yes, I think that homeschooling will be the best thing for my kids this year, I am looking forward to learning right along with them.
- No, I haven't looked into co-ops and I don't plan to for this season. Thank you, well-meaning moms and friends, but I'm just playing it low-key for now. If that makes me a failure, well, bomb's away.
- No, I don't have a game plan beyond kindegarten.
- Yes I realize I need to make extra efforts to socialize my kids, encourage athletic activities, and make sure they are meeting xyz benchmarks from here to kingdom come so that they don't feel stunted or left behind or out of the loop or stupid or or or...
- Say it with me: Hakuna Matata.
This was week one:
- Chutes and Ladders
- Flash cards, flash cards, flash cards!
- Helping with baking
- Going to the fair tomorrow(farming education? ehhh, good enough for me)
- Making rainbows
- Story time
- A little assist from my dear friend Nick Jr.
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