I want to be...

I want to be the mom who spends QUALITY time with her kids.
I want to be the wife who doesn't turn every conflict into a soap opera.
I want to be the friend who is like a sister to you.
I want to be the sister whom you can call your "best friend".
I want to be an artist who cares more about art, and less about status quo.
I want to be the daughter who makes her daddy proud.
I want to know what it feels like to move a mountain with my faith.
And I could really go for some pizza.

Laura Veirs - "Don't lose yourself"

Tomorrow.

I just realized that I am always waiting for tomorrow:
*"Tomorrow my food stamps kick in!"
*"Tomorrow I'll start exercising regularly"
*"Starting tomorrow, I'll wash my face every day"
*"Tomorrow I'll find out what I need to do to get back in school"
*"I'll finish that project tomorrow"

This attitude of discontentment and procrastination has played out, naturally, in motherhood:
*"I promise tomorrow we'll [insert broken promise here--'play the cherry game', 'make cookies', 'bring out the paints', 'go to the park', etc.]"
*"Tomorrow I will try harder not to lose my temper"
*"Tomorrow we'll work on potty training"
*"I'll pay more attention to Juby tomorrow"

I'm so sad about this revelation. I feel like I have spent the last 4 years in Tomorrowland, and what have I gained? Mostly disappointment, late fees, wasted oppertunities, and regret. Somehow, in spite of the fact that this day is already half-over, I am willing myself to get the hell out of the land of "some day." Tomorrow may never come. Today is still here. Oh Jesus, help me make the most of all this breathing!
Today I'll wash my face.
Today I'll spend at least an hour just reveling in the presence of my vibrant little miracle children.
Today, we paint.
Today, I'll make at least one thing, start to finish.
Today, I'll call my mom.
Today I'll return our library books.
And that's all I'm going to put on my plate for now.

Auto Parts.

I had a WONDERFUL weekend! Spent time in the company of one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, and enjoyed basking in the sweetness of reconciliation after a long season of separation. AND I got to take some pictures of an old abandoned-looking (I say that because there's a possibility someone still lives on this property, who knows?) Auto shop--something I have been dreaming of doing since I first laid eyes on the spot several years ago. I felt so adventurous: there were "NO TRESPASSING" signs all over the place, and I almost expected an older, larger, gentleman, clad in dusty suspenders, to accost me and kick me off his dilapidated lot. But lucky for me, such was not the case. Happy day!